Chicago Bears moving to Indiana? Hike!

The 1985 Chicago Bears dominated. Simply put, nobody (except the Dolphins during the regular season) could beat them, and they crushed the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl. They had the funky QB Jim McMahon, defensive giants like Mike Singletary, and perhaps one of the greatest running backs ever–the late, great Walter Payton. And who can forget the Super Bowl Shuffle?

There’ve been many, MANY lean years since that great season, and the Bears, like many franchises, are considering moving because they want a new stadium. Apparently, Indiana has cast its lure to land the Bears and bring them one state over.

Now, the Indiana Bears, honestly, sounds sacriligious. I’m certain that should the Bears skip town, Chicago would go up in flames, and there’d be hell on the streets, which wouldn’t be much different than the way Chicago currently operates, so I’m not sure anyone would notice.

Chicago officials don’t want to pay for a new stadium, and that could be the big sticking point. And here’s where I think Chicago has it right. Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker has said the state is “not going to build a stadium for the team. … We want to make sure we’re protecting the consumers and taxpayers in the state.”

And guess what? Pritzker is right! Illinois is poorly run, crime-ridden, and faces a $3.2 billion shortfall. It needs to get its fiscal house in order, and spending hundreds of millions, if not more than a billion, dollars doesn’t seem financially prudent. And these stadiums can be boondoggles. Case in point: the Miami Marlins stadium fiasco.

Perhaps Illinois can give the Bears a tax break to stay in Chicago, but if the Bears want a new stadium, then pony up the dough to build one. (They don’t want to, which explains why they’re warm to Indiana helping to pay for it.)

I don’t care if the Bears stay or go. I just enjoy watching from the sidelines while Indiana tries to bag one of the most famous football franchises ever. If I had to guess, I think the Bears stay in Chi-town. Go, team! But don’t go, team! Get it? Get it?! All right, I’ll go to bed now.

Dinosaur Convention bans Palentologists linked to Epstein?

It seems that three groups of people have become entangled in the Jeffrey Epstein rigmarole: Famous politicians, titans of industry, and men who collect dinosaur bones.

Don’t believe me? DinoCon, a U.K.-based paleontology convention, has banned any paleontologist named in the Epstein files from attending! I don’t know exactly what happens at a paleontology convention–like at toy conventions, you buy toys; so, do you buy 50-million-year-old dinosaur fossils at paleontology conventions? Good luck getting through customs. Here’s a statement from the dinosaur men:

“We at DinoCon take the safety of our attendees, speakers and staff very seriously. As a result of the release of half of the Epstein files, it has come to light that a select number of scientists, authors and researchers relevant to the field of paleontology allegedly engaged in correspondence with members of the Epstein organization after the convictions of Jeffrey Epstein. We want to state that all respective individuals are banned from all our events.”

They went on to say: “Additionally, we find it deplorable that some established palaeontological organizations are not taking firm action to protect their members in light of these allegations.”

The organization didn’t say who wasn’t allowed, but I did some digging, and apparently, a famous paleontologist named Jack Horner (who helped with the Jurassic Park movies) was found in the Epstein files. But here’s the thing, Horner didn’t ask Epstein for an underage child to abuse (thank goodness), he asked for academic funding! That’s right, paleontologists aren’t rolling in money to begin with and need to hit up rich guys for dough. Enter Epstein, who made a lot of money, although nobody knows how.  

I think the good folks at DinoCon may have overreacted a bit. Just because your name appears in one of roughly 3 million documents linked to a monstrous pedophile doesn’t necessarily make you a fellow creep. And what’s all this business about “protecting our members” at the convention?

Unless your members are 13-year-old girls, I think you’re in the clear. These are paleontologists, for goodness sake. Average age: Deceased. And the DinoCon people are reacting like these named paleontologists will be roaming around the convention, tearing things apart and screeching like velociraptors.

Can we please take things down a notch? Yes, Epstein was awful, and so is his legacy. He also knew a lot of innocent people who had no clue he was a deviant and who are now unfairly wrapped up in this never-ending scandal.

So, Jack Horner may or may not be allowed to attend DinoCon, but based on the type of people who sought to preemptively ban him and who run the show, he’s probably better off in the Badlands with a pickax.

Getting an agent rejection, and feeling relief?

An agent rejected me this morning. I saw the QueryTracker address in my inbox, felt the sense of doom that usually rears its head whenever I open a QT verdict from an agent, and then noticed something.

It was personalized! There was even a typo in it! Nothing major, and I don’t call it out to cast any aspersions on the agent–it was an open ( without a close. Any writer has had typos slip into his or her work; it’s a fact! Get over it. It doesn’t make them bad!

Simply put, the agent took the time to write some thoughts, specific ones!

Here’s what stood out: the agent said that I was a good writer based on my opening pages.

NEVER have I gotten a rejection that commented specifically on my writing. Speaking for myself, that’s the one thing I worry about above all else when an agent renders judgment: Is my writing any good? Is it up to snuff? I’d like to think I can string coherent sentences together without dreaded to-be verbs and go easy on adverbs/adjectives.

But until someone tells you, you don’t know.

The agent explained why the book might not be the best fit for the market, and that’s what gave pause.

Fine. I’m a big boy. I get how this business works. But I felt relief, in a sense. Not that I’m suddenly Faulkner or anything silly like that, but that I might have a puncher’s chance. Or not. It’s a brutal business, but I’ll navigate it with a little more confidence now.

And, no, I’m not naming the agent. So don’t ask!

11,000 words into the next book!

I’m a pantser. I’ve never outlined anything. I wouldn’t know where to begin. But there’s nothing I enjoy more than sitting in front of the monitor and going to town. Seeing where things take me, not knowing how I’m getting there. I start a book with a vague notion of how I want it to end, and then it’s a matter of filling in the important details. Creating characters as I go. Simply put, it’s fun.

And I think that’s what writing should be. Fun! In the end, we’re entertainers, and if we’re not enjoying it, then we shouldn’t be doing it.

Writing a 1,000-page book?

Some authors do it. Some do it regularly. But for the life of me I don’t get how someone can craft a 1,000-page novel.

The longest book I ever read was Stephen King’s It. Now, there was a ton going on in that book so, it makes sense. I find getting to 300 pages, which is roughly 90,000 words to be a chore. So, kudos to those craftsmen and women who can do it, and do it well!

RIP Jams Van Der Beek

I’m 50. I never watched one episode of Dawson’s Creek because I probably aged out of it, but I knew about the stars, James included.

He died of colon cancer at 48 and leaves behind a wife and six kids.

Get screened, people. It runs in my family and I’ve been screened since I was 35. Is the night before the procedure uncomfortable? Sure, but there are worse things in life besides a little discomfort.

Go to the doctor regularly. Get blood tests. Don’t be one of these people who’s scared of them. They’re there to help you.

And pray. Not so much for yourself unless it’s life and death, but pray for your friends, family and loved ones, and the people who you don’t know but who need it. Like James’s family.

When can you call yourself a bestselling author?

While scrolling X today, I happened upon an author who hit number one in one of Amazon’s many sub-genre categories. Good for the writer! I asked whether “Amazon Bestselling Author” can be used on the book cover and marketing materials.

I say, Yes. Technically, it topped a bestseller list, narrow though it may be, but I don’t think that’s disqualifying. If an author can back it up (screen shot/grab?), use it with pride.

But I could be wrong. Am I?

A