Epstein Files

Dinosaur Convention bans Palentologists linked to Epstein?

It seems that three groups of people have become entangled in the Jeffrey Epstein rigmarole: Famous politicians, titans of industry, and men who collect dinosaur bones.

Don’t believe me? DinoCon, a U.K.-based paleontology convention, has banned any paleontologist named in the Epstein files from attending! I don’t know exactly what happens at a paleontology convention–like at toy conventions, you buy toys; so, do you buy 50-million-year-old dinosaur fossils at paleontology conventions? Good luck getting through customs. Here’s a statement from the dinosaur men:

“We at DinoCon take the safety of our attendees, speakers and staff very seriously. As a result of the release of half of the Epstein files, it has come to light that a select number of scientists, authors and researchers relevant to the field of paleontology allegedly engaged in correspondence with members of the Epstein organization after the convictions of Jeffrey Epstein. We want to state that all respective individuals are banned from all our events.”

They went on to say: “Additionally, we find it deplorable that some established palaeontological organizations are not taking firm action to protect their members in light of these allegations.”

The organization didn’t say who wasn’t allowed, but I did some digging, and apparently, a famous paleontologist named Jack Horner (who helped with the Jurassic Park movies) was found in the Epstein files. But here’s the thing, Horner didn’t ask Epstein for an underage child to abuse (thank goodness), he asked for academic funding! That’s right, paleontologists aren’t rolling in money to begin with and need to hit up rich guys for dough. Enter Epstein, who made a lot of money, although nobody knows how.  

I think the good folks at DinoCon may have overreacted a bit. Just because your name appears in one of roughly 3 million documents linked to a monstrous pedophile doesn’t necessarily make you a fellow creep. And what’s all this business about “protecting our members” at the convention?

Unless your members are 13-year-old girls, I think you’re in the clear. These are paleontologists, for goodness sake. Average age: Deceased. And the DinoCon people are reacting like these named paleontologists will be roaming around the convention, tearing things apart and screeching like velociraptors.

Can we please take things down a notch? Yes, Epstein was awful, and so is his legacy. He also knew a lot of innocent people who had no clue he was a deviant and who are now unfairly wrapped up in this never-ending scandal.

So, Jack Horner may or may not be allowed to attend DinoCon, but based on the type of people who sought to preemptively ban him and who run the show, he’s probably better off in the Badlands with a pickax.

Exactly how many Epstein files are there?

Like you, and like a vast majority of decent people, I am not listed in the Epstein files. At least nobody’s made me aware of my presence in them. I’m pretty sure I’ve never met the guy, and I know for a fact I was never on some creepy island with him.

The same cannot be said of a surprising number of people who are mentioned in the files. At least two current and former presidents (Trump and Clinton), a former treasury secretary (Lawrence Summers), and a bunch of others, like Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and a bunch of other billionaires. Here’s a photo released by the Justice Department that depicts what I can only describe as a slew of Bond villains huddled around a table, planning world domination.

Here’s what I’d like to know: How many Epstein files are there? There must be a solid number; otherwise, we’d have infinite reams of paper that would tilt the planet off course into the sun. I woke up the other day to the news that 3 million more Epstein files were released. Look, the Justice Department has a library dedicated to him! And not the kind with two stone lions flanking the entrance.

Here’s a thought exercise: How many files are related to you? Like, if someone released the Manochio files, I’m certain they could fit in one manila folder. Nobody would have to pass legislation requiring someone to build an online database to hold them.

I suppose this is what’s known as “rich people problems.” Meaning, if you’re rich, you might somehow cross paths with a millionaire child predator and wind up in some devious archive.

Whatever the case may be, nobody will be satisfied. Even if Jesus Christ showed up and said, “There are no more Epstein files. They have all been released,” a cadre of people would still believe there are more out there, and they’re really awful, trust us.

No, thank you.