There’s a pitch event on X today.
The rules: be unconventional. Ok. Here’s mine.
#UnhingedPit for my book!
Why bash literary agents?
An X user (who I’m not convinced is real) recently posted a screed against literary agents for having the temerity not to represent her. It came off as pathetic.
I’ve had ups and downs in publishing, but I never entertained the idea of attacking agents. Is it frustrating to get rejected? Of course! But if you’re serious about publishing, you understand rejection is part of it. It’s part of any artistic field. It’s a part of life!
During my time querying (and even at one point getting an agent), never did one treat me unprofessionally.
What good would it do me to attack an agent because he or she passed? Who does it benefit?
If you post it on X, you’re broadcasting to the world “please, don’t ever consider working with me!”
Yes, you blew off some steam and feel self-righteous. And? You’re still unagented, and likely never will be.
Good luck out there to everyone stuck in the query trenches. Be strong. Above all else, be a pro.
How many followers do you need in publishing?
The disheartening truth of modern publishing, it seems, is that your social media follower count dictates your probability for success.
I saw a tweet from a writer saying an agent loved the book but declined to take on the author because of too few followers.
I don’t know if this is true, but I’m inclined to believe it. That’s bad news for those of us who don’t like social media and prefer not to be on it because it’s unhealthy and time-consuming. That being said, I understand its importance but fear it’s relied upon too much by the publishing industry.
If a book is solid, people will buy it, and word will spread. Yes, social media helps this, but there was a time when it didn’t exist, and books still sold.
This doesn’t bode well for modern debut authors who might not have any following whatsoever. The way to gain followers is to publish a book that garners readers who want to learn about the author. You don’t need followers for that, just an account for people to find and follow
Regardless, that’s modern publishing, and you must adapt. I’m trying. I’ll follow you if you follow me. But it likely won’t be out of sincere interest on either part, only out of necessity to boost numbers.
So, how many followers is enough?
Chasing Followers, Catching Rage
Authors need platforms.
They didn’t always. Michael Crichton didn’t have a website with a newsletter link when he released Jurassic Park more than three decades ago. Yes, he was well known for The Andromeda Strain, among other works. But he wasn’t tweeting, posting on Facebook and doing a Book-Tok dance.
Do people dance on Book-Tok? I honestly don’t know.
Anyway, to appeal to agents and publishers, even though you technically don’t need one, it makes sense to have one. I’m updating my website this year (much needed after a decade). And am trying to get followers. I’m terrible at it. And, frankly, I don’t want to, but not for a reason you’re thinking.
I’d love to have thousands of followers, and you must work to get them. That’s fine.
But with Twitter/X especially, you invariably get bombarded with the day’s events and what people think about them. Again, fine.
Once you start reading the tweets, you’re bound to get angry or annoyed because almost everyone on Twitter seems angry and annoyed. Take any political issue–Greenland, Minnesota immigration, the Buffalo Bills collapsing again (OK, that’s not political, but it’s up for discussion–and you will get heated, f-bomb-laced screeds on both sides of the issue, and it’s easy to get sucked in.
I rarely comment on anything besides joking to point out absurdity, or chiming in on something that’s universally accepted, like praying for Rob Reiner and his wife after their son murdered them. Yes, there was one lunatic who felt compelled to behave indecently, but he’s not worth mentioning.
You lose time (when you should be writing) and your mental health when you descend into that hole. So, loath as I am to do, I will venture on Twitter to post author-related things (not incessant sales pitches, which are tedious). But, like a bank robbery, I want to be in and out as quickly as possible. And if someone likes whatever I post or wants to engage in a civilized back-and-forth, great!
It is possible to ignore the noise. It is possible to disconnect (putting the phone away)! Hard as it is to do, you will feel better. Maybe that’s the key to true happiness. Powering down.
And reading a book.
They killed Gramma! (The tortoise)
Facebook feeds offer up some of the most random tidbits. For instance, this morning it notified me that Gramma, the 141-year-old Galapagos Tortoise, died in San Diego. Turns out it happened in November. What struck me was one of the lines regarding her demise: “Her loss has been felt around the world.”
Hold your horses. Kennedy’s assassination was felt around the world. More recently, putting politics aside, Charlie Kirk’s murder was felt across the globe. When Princess Di was killed in that car crash? Absolutely felt around the planet.
Do you remember where you were when you learned Gramma the Tortoise died? Yeah, right here, right now, reading this. So, I did some investigating and here’s what I learned.
Gramma’s exact date of birth is unknown, but “experts” estimated her age at roughly 140 years old, meaning she was born around 1885. Do you know who the US president was in 1885? Neither do I, let me Google it. OK, Grover Cleveland. The San Diego Zoo, where she lived since 1928, stated she lived through 20 US presidents! She lived through two World Wars. A bunch of pandemics. Disco. Pretty much everything good and bad in modern US history.
Yeah, but Gramma doesn’t know any of this. She’s a tortoise. Last I checked, they don’t think about world affairs or domestic politics. They think about “where the hell is my fruit bowl?” and “I haven’t left my enclosure in 75 years.”
Here’s how ABC News reported on her: “Throughout her time in San Diego, Gramma, a ‘quiet and constant presence,’ transformed from a black-and-white photograph to an ‘ever-endearing social media star,’ with countless videos shared of the reptile crunching on her favorite snacks, the zoo said.”
That’s sobering. A dead tortoise has more followers on Twitter than I do.
I’d like to wrap up this story as a bittersweet yet feel-good one. But I can’t because of what the Los Angeles Times reported: Gramma “was euthanized after suffering from increasing bone deterioration because of her advanced age.”
They murdered Gramma! Who the hell made the San Diego Zoo god? Aren’t you supposed to respect your elders? And not put them down because you think it’s time for them to die? Apparently, and unsurprisingly, not in California. “Hey, Gramma, you’re moving slower than normal. Let’s get that lethal drug cocktail ready!”
Gramma had absolutely no say in the matter. A bunch of goons probably lifted her up, and Gramma’s thinking, “Yay, they’re taking me inside! That’s where they keep the cactus fruit that I enjoy nibbling on. Hey, wait a second, why does everybody look so glum? And I don’t see any cactus fruit, just a bunch of bottles with skulls and crossbones on them! And a guy flicking his finger against a syringe! What the hell is this?”
Gramma’s dead. Probably against her will, but at least they didn’t strap her into a chair and electrocute her. May her memory be a blessing. And if you’re elderly and live in the San Diego Zoo, try not to stumble.
New Year’s Resolution: Get Followers (and follow back)
As of right now, I have 51 subscribers on WordPress and fewer than that on Twitter/X/Evil Elon. I have an Insta account, but I don’t post photos of meals I’m about to eat (I like to paint, so I post them on occasion). I have no idea who most of you are, but I thank you sincerely for sticking with me after years of inactivity. There’s a reason I’m poking my head out of my shell: I’m an author who hopes to get a book deal this year. I know, join the club.
I’m previously published through independent presses and even garnered praise from several New York Times bestselling authors and Bram Stoker Award winners. I’m also terrible at publicity, but I would like that to change. I mentioned a book I hope to get published. It’s humor-based, and that’s my calling. I’ve written supernatural thrillers, horror, and straight crime thrillers. Most, if not all, of them had elements of comedy in them, but stayed more along the serious side. This new one, a Krampus novel, is rooted in satire and humor. The sophisticated kind, not the lazy bathroom variety.
My options are as follows:
- Query literary agents (which I’m currently doing);
- Submit to independent presses that accept unsolicited manuscripts (also in the works);
- Go it alone. Take the plunge. Become a true Indie Author and publish it myself.
The third option is the most daunting because I’ve never done it before. Fortunately, though, writers have this option. If you’re an indie filmmaker, you need to buy/rent a bunch of equipment, scout locations, hire actors, and probably a million other things I cannot think of. How do you distribute the film without studio backing? I have no idea, but filmmakers do it because they love it and want to share it with the world. Do they want to make money? Sure, that’s part of it, but not the primary motivator.
That’s where I am. I’ve written a book I love and believe is funny, and I want to share it with the world and give it the best chance to reach readers. The Big 5 publishers are the best way to do this. But like with everything in life, that ain’t easy. You need a literary agent to get your work in front of them. And it’s challenging to get one. But it’s not impossible. I had one years ago for a book I wrote, but we weren’t able to get a deal. That’s fine. It’s called dying on submission. Happens all the time. I ended up getting it published without that agent (who literally vanished on me).
I’ve neglected this blog for years, and it’s my New Year’s Resolution to post something every day. (That’s not difficult, actually. I mean, I could post a sentence that reads “This is my post for the day,” and it would qualify.) But I’d like to share this daunting journey of rejection and hopeful acceptance with readers. And if I go it alone, I will explain what I’m doing and why I hope it works. If you’re an indie author reading this and have thoughts, advice, or suggestions, I’d love to hear from you. Likewise, if you’re an agent reading this, I’ve probably queried you or someone in your agency. Hello.
The one thing you won’t get from me is complaints about the publishing world, like, it’s so unfair!
Grow up!
Here’s what I ask if you’ve gotten this far. I’ve created this Linktree: https://linktr.ee/mattmanochio
Please give it a look and feel free to subscribe/follow if it strikes your fancy. And if you’d like me to follow back, please contact me, leave a comment below. I’d be happy to chat. It’s a vast world out there, and I hope to meet a few of you.